My Recruiter Hell - Part 4

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Even after I'd killed the student intern and disposed of the body, I was still feeling rather too irritated to deal with Sir Sick Note. I needed a little office hours relaxation - not something I indulge in with anything near the regularity of other employees, but desperate times and all that

Facebook was out, as we're still on a trial ban. The MD is absolutely convinced that we're going to see a massive rise in productivity now that we've outlawed all social networking sites, but I suspect our resourceful employees have found other ways to waste their time. Moreover, it's going to be rather tricky to maintain the veto come January, when we will be unveiling a new Facebook and Second Life recruitment strategy. Personally, I have yet to be convinced that social networking sites are going to provide a useful graduate recruitment tool. I've read a lot of articles recently in which my fellow recruiters loudly pronounce that they can now truly connect with students. But I don't want to truly connect with students. I'm not interested in your holiday snaps, favourite TV shows or relationship status; I just want to hear about your work experience, qualifications and any relevant extracurricular activities. For me, social is the operative word; let's keep work separate from social networking.

I considered texting my boyfriend (five years younger than me, rather less intelligent but with a flashy hedge fund manager salary) and asking him to meet me for a sneaky coffee, but I'd already disciplined an employee for doing something similar the week before. I may be many things, but a hypocrite is not one of them. The boytoy would have to keep.

So I decided to combine my 10 minute break with a little research and logged on to some of my favourite anonymous HR blogs. Each listed complaints about badly written application forms, inappropriate interview outfits and employees who magically disappear off sick as soon as the Christmas shopping season starts; remarkably similar to my own expostulations. And almost every single HR blogger discussed the increasing demand for so-called 'soft skills' - a demand that UK students seem less and less able to fill.

Which reminds me: in my last post I was planning to discuss nous. And yet, perhaps because of the spirit of Christmas, I suddenly feel I should save you my thoughts on this topic until the New Year. Lest you think the festive season is bringing out my hitherto unseen softer side, by 'the spirit of Christmas', I mean that the tree for Reception has finally arrived and it's bigger than expected, so I need to find an underling to dash out for some new baubles...

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