My recruiter hell - Part 2

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Another week, another careers fair. Surprisingly, the over-eager students have not proved much of a headache – or at least, not as much of a headache as last year’s graduate entrants.

Although handpicked from all the 2006 graduate joiners to represent our shiny corporate brand, this gruesome twosome seem hell bent on destruction.

First up we have Party Animal. He spends most of his time telling students about the corporate drinking culture, illustrated with lurid personal stories that all begin, “Once, I was so wasted that I…” I find that a swift stiletto thrust to the toe is the fastest way to shut him up. Then there’s My Little Phoney, whose overwhelming desire to be liked by everyone means that she tells every student we see that they would be “perfect” for our company and that they “simply must” apply. This means that our ratio of viable candidates to incompetent no-hopers will be pretty depressing this year. She spends the rest of the time wittering on about the “fabulous” projects she’s been “spearheading”.

Yet even My Little Phoney was lost for words when confronted with one final year student’s question: “So why should I want to work for you?” Most applicants are falling over themselves to show us how talented, intelligent and generally wonderful they are, but very few seem to consider what we, out of all the other companies in our field, can offer them. I’m not saying that my dream candidate is someone who thinks they’re God’s gift to the grad scheme. However, a little confidence can go a long way, as can basic knowledge of the company they’re applying for.

The problem is that Party Animal and My Little Phoney seem to think that their role is to demonstrate how remarkably clever they are for landing a job with this company. As I have explained to them several times, the point of a careers fair is to sell our company in such a way that we attract the brightest and best. I wish the students would also take this on board. I’ve lost count of the number of CVs thrust at me, despite my protestations that they need to send it to us with the official application form. Highly irritating – even before I’ve taken in the inevitable spelling mistakes…

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