Reality bytes

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Ever wanted an insight into life at one of the world's most highly regarded management consultant firms? By way of background, our secret blogger graduated in July from a well regarded university with a liberal arts bias, in the fortunate position of having a job to go to two months later.

Befitting the professionalism that one might expect in my new industry, I spent the period from early July to early September systematically attempting to kill all of my brain cells in a binge of self satisfied hedonism.

While this may seem a rather puerile way to spend a summer, it should be noted that (a) I have been incredibly broke for most of the last four years and so even the notion of financial security (albeit future dated) is a cause for great celebration and (b) I am a rather unremarkable fellow. I once overheard my university tutor describing me to one of the other professors as 'infeasibly mediocre', which irritated me immensely until I reasoned that it was a fair point.

So - the very fact that I came through the other end of one of the most exhaustive and competitive graduate selection processes anywhere provoked great pride. More importantly, I figured that if I hung around enough dodgy bars and nightclubs, and purchased enough mid range bottles of sparking wine, then the hint of financial largesse would serve as a powerful aphrodisiac to women in my home town of Smethwick. And so it proved. It was a glorious way to spend 10 weeks. I was King of the Black Country Castle, an irony that did not escape me weeks later as I went from being at the top of one totem pole to the very bottom of another.

An obvious question that you might be asking..... 'if this guy is as unremarkable as he claims to be, and intellectually average, and clearly quite shallow, then how on earth did he get a job with such a prestigious organisation?'. The answer, quite simply, is that I did the basics well. I wore a sharp suit, smiled a lot, tried to sound vaguely intelligible and didn't talk over anyone in the interview group exercises. Compare and contrast with some of my fellow interviewees, who offset all of their intellectual gifts with their rudeness and arrogance, flunked the interview process, and probably spent their summers crying into their coffee mugs while I savoured the sweet, sweet taste of Lambrusco.

This blog will be my opportunity to tell you the story of what management consulting firms are really like - the office politics, the romances, the strict hierarchies and the petty grudges. Warts and all....next week - the dreaded 'Initiation' to the firm.....

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