All the jobs I've never had - Accountant

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There is something slightly menacing-sounding about the 'Big Four'. But that didn't put me off applying to one of the country's largest accountancy firms.

I didn't hear anything from them for ages, but then a short while after graduation I received a letter saying there was a vacancy in the indirect tax department if I was still interested. Well, I was still interested in receiving a Big Four salary. The only snag was I had no idea what indirect taxation was, so I contacted an old uni friend who had been working at the same firm for a year. His email contained the following:

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To: Jobless graduate
Date: Tues 31/07/01 10:48

Congrats on the interview! Here are a few pointers before the big day:

1) It sounds daft but know what indirect taxes are, and what different indirect taxes there are - if you don't know, they're VAT (Value Added Tax), Customs Duties (which you won't be doing much of), IPT (Insurance Premium Tax), LFT (Landfill Tax), CCL (Climate Change Levy) and other minor ones. But VAT is the main one so focus mainly on this one.

2) Mention that you want a varied and challenging career which consultancy will allow as you never know what's going to come next

3) Show that you're committed to continual learning (Definitely mention this!! It's one of the firm's big cultures) - both academically and on the job (i.e. in the office) experience

4) Be prepared but not scripted - most of the questions will be standard fare which will be asked in every interview you go to. Have a response ready but make it appear a natural answer e.g. Why does indirect tax interest you as a career?

5) Have nice polished shiny shoes - it sounds really corny and everybody always tells you this but people do look at your shoes (for some unknown reason!!) and you don't want to put yourself behind before you've even started!!

6) Smile!!!

From: Uni Friend
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As is often the case with well-rehearsed plans, they often go awry. My interviewer asked me virtually nothing about indirect taxation - instead asking me about my experiences with online supermarket shopping, to which I replied I had once accidentally bought one kilo of carrots (instead of 100 grams). He obviously thought I was an idiot because the job offer never arrived.

Or maybe it was just because my shoes weren't shiny enough.

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